Dad On Duty #34 – Hallway Counseling

Had a couple of the highest compliments ever paid to me today.

First, the Boss and AP told me and the other Dad on Duty that they both had critical assignments that had to be completed today, and we pretty much needed to handle stuff outside the office as much as possible. I’m really glad that we’ve done a good enough job to engender that level of trust. We handled the lunch/recess melee on our own, and ran the hallway situation the rest of the day. (It’s really not hard to yell “hey! Walking feet!”). To our knowledge, 911 was never called, so I think we did ok. (On that note, if you’re missing a kid, lemme know….I’ll run back up there and see if I misplaced him/her….)

Second, I was taking care of a little 1st grade girl who had gotten some ant bites on the playground. Nothing major, just itchy and stingy. Cleaned her up, got the mulch outta her socks and shoes, applied some ointments….just the usual first aid kinda stuff. She asked “are you this nice to your daughter”? Really surprised me, from a 7 year old. I told her no, I’m only this nice to her, I don’t really like kids…..I make my daughter dig ditches and pound rocks all day. She looked puzzled, and Mary jumped in with a “he’s kidding you….” But I was really very flattered by her comment.

One of my favorite moments happened today. I really love when I get to talk individually with a kid, kinda outside the box.

Was walking down the main hall doing the usual hall check, where we look down each hallway to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. In the Kindergarten hall, there sits a little boy, just outside the door of his classroom, by himself. He looks kinda forlorn.

I go down there and plop on the floor next to him. We sit quietly for a bit.

“What’s going on buddy? Whatcha doin out here?”
“I got in trouble. Miss <teacher> sent me out here to think about it”.
(Now, that’s kinda funny to hear from a 5 year old)
“You wanna talk about it?”
He sits and thinks about that for a second. I really expect him to say no. Instead, he nods his head.
“What did you get in trouble for?”
“Fighting”
(Yeah, that’ll get you sent out in the hall)
“About what?”
“<other kid> had a book I wanted for free read time. I asked him for it, but he said no. So I started fighting him for it”
“Was that a good way to handle that?”
He shrugs his shoulders.
“Clearly it was not good, buddy. We’re sitting out here. Right?”
Nods head.
“So, you need to use your words. (And then I think, like he hasn’t heard *that* a million times. What does that even really mean? I need to give him something concrete he can actually use)
“Do you know what ‘compromise’ means?”
“No”
“It’s like sharing. It’s what you needed to do just now, instead of fighting. Look, you wanted the book, and that’s like being right here <and I moved his hand into the air above his lap>. And I wanted the book, and that’s like being right here <I held my hand in the air over my lap>. Look at this big space between us <slinging my other hand between our upraised hands>. There’s the problem, and there’s the fight. Do you see that?”
“Yeah”. (And he really seemed to see it).
“Now if we both move halfway…..look what happens…” < we close the gap>
“You could close that hole by saying ‘let’s read it together’ or ‘you read 5 pages and then it’s my turn for 5 pages’. Do you see how that would help?”
“Yeah”
“And if you’re having trouble go tell your teacher. Tell her you’re trying to compromise, but you’re having trouble. She’ll be really impressed, and I bet she’ll help you.”
“Ok”
“Do you understand?”
“Yes”. And this time he looked me in the eye to answer.
“You gonna be ok?”
“Yeah”.
“Ready to go back in and tell your teacher what you figured out?”
“Yes.”
“Ok man. You’ll do great”
I get up (groaning….that floor is a long way down there).
He says “thank you”. (Very thoughtful of him to thank me. I was impressed).
“You’re welcome, of course”.
He headed back in. I dunno if he did any of that stuff, but I think he mighta.

Or maybe he walked in there and clocked the kid. Well, I tried.