Dad on Duty #58

The time when we don’t have to sing her to sleep will come soon enough.

Tonight I realized; far too soon.

Little Bit has been high maintenance for a few nights now. For the most part, I suspect that it’s because we are SO far off schedule. She’s going to bed around 11, not really going to sleep till midnight. Either Amy or I are gone most of the evening almost every night, and that really messes her up too. You can’t change this girl’s routine. It doesn’t go well.

Last night she said she had a tummy ache, and I really thought it was BS. But we rubbed on her and gave her Pepto and ended up laying down with her for a LONG time trying to get her to sleep.

Exhausting.

Then at 0300 she got sick for real. Big mess.

I really felt bad. She is sick. It’s not just drama. Oops.

Tonight, she was fine till we had her in bed.

Then outta nowhere, she says she feels bad again. Calling us from her bed. It’s like 11 o’clock, and we kinda have a bad attitude about it.

Amy goes up to comfort her. I notice Amy had started a bath for herself, so I finished running that for her and then went up to relieve her of Drama Girl duty.

When I walk in, Amy is lying next to Tori, singing to her.

She (Amy) sounds beautiful. I genuinely feel God in the room.

Stop everything.

I feel God here, now.

Mother singing to Baby, to comfort her.

I stand quietly aside.   There is nothing else for me to do.

And I feel God wash over me, and us.

How did that happen? I went from “shit, I’m pissed about this high drama child” to a real moment of contact with God.

I’m a little freaked out.

When Amy is done, I take her spot and lie next to Tori while she drifts to sleep.

And I initially think “this is a big pain in the ass. I wish I was downstairs watching HBO Go”.

But I lie quietly, with my hand on Tori, listening for the “sleep breathing”.

You know what that is. The sleep breathing you long to hear, as a parent.

And, again, I feel God appear. And suddenly, HBO Go isn’t so important.

And then I hear, loud and clear: this will end too soon.

In a few weeks, or maybe if you’re lucky a few months, she will not need you to lie with her to comfort her and get her to sleep.

This part of our life is almost over.

Forever.

I lie with her a long time.

Then I chat with God a bit, and head back downstairs.

Changed.

I won’t be quite so put out about helping her go to sleep.

I will miss these moments, terribly.