Dad on Duty #77

Today is Grandparents Day!

This is one of the most fun events we have. We’ve got three Dads on duty today to help with traffic: we’ll need it.
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As the grandparents start gathering for lunch, they largely fill the foyer area and spill down the hallway. We carve out a narrow corridor for the kids to get through the sea of butts to the cafeteria.

Here come the kindergarteners. When they see the crowd awaiting them, their eyes grow as big as saucers. We three Dads join a handful of staff members to make a friendly pathway through the mass of visitors.

It’s still a little overwhelming, and the kids need encouragement.

But we are witness to sheer magic when they recognize their Mimi or Pawpaw in the crowd; little faces light up and they bolt out of line, arms extended.
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There are a LOT of grandparents. Over 300. For a student population of 625.

One of the things the kids like best is when Grandpa goes to recess with them, and they can show off their monkey bar prowess. The Boss tells me to unlock the re-entry doors from the playground, so grandparents can get back in when they’re ready to leave. It’s a good call; if we have to individually let each Pawpaw back in, the sheer scale of it will eat us alive.

But now I’ve got unlocked doors leading from outside to the center of school. Plus, we have a serious leakage concern; grandparents outside with kids, who may go straight out to the car if they decide to take the kid home (which I’m sure is a common, tearful, request).

I post myself dead center at the main intersection, where I can see most of the little kid playground. From there I can watch for escapees, and quickly ID anybody coming into the building. But it’s also crazy busy in that spot. I’m swamped by grandparents seeking directions, little kids looking for their classmates and big kids trying to get through the traffic jam to go to PE. After 15 minutes of sensory overload, the first wave of grandparents starts to leave.

The biggest problem with Mimi visiting…..is that Mimi will have to leave. And for many of the little kids, that’s really tough. There’s lots of crying, and we’re all in full-consolation mode.

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As some of the big kids are coming back in with their grandparents, one of the SPED kids manages to peel away from her class. I am about to shepherd her back to her teacher when an injured boy comes in off the big kid playground. I’ve now got the SPED kid under one arm and an injured 5th grader under the other.

And behind me, as more kids enter the building, I hear squeals as someone shouts “frog!”

Really?

Sure enough, a terrified frog has followed some of the kids in from the playground and is now hopping for his life down the hallway. With my two charges in tow, I chase the frog down the hall and scoop him up. Thankfully, the SPED teacher has circled back and grabs her kid. Now I’ve just got to medevac the 5th grader to the nurse’s office, and unload a frog.

As we head to the nurse, my patient tells every single person we see “he’s got a frog!” This is not helping the traffic flow, as you can imagine. I get the kid delivered to the nurse and then head out the front door with my ‘phibian friend.

I’m not sure what to do with him. He’s a real frog….a leopard frog….not a toad. That’s significant, because it means he needs way more water than a toad. My options are limited. I find the wettest, coolest spot I can in the yard and set him free. Best of luck, slimy dude.

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Now we start accountability in earnest. Marc and I go to each teacher and individually confirms that they have all their kids. And in every grade, we’re missing at least one kid. Marc and I call each other and the office on the radio to try to coordinate the data, but it’s still pretty confusing.

Gradually, we track down every kid; they are usually just giving a tour to Grandma, or lingering a little too long on the playground or in the library with Papa. No harm done, other than it shortened our lifespans by a few days.

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Of course there were about a dozen other things that blew up too. Needing to cover playground for a few minutes three different times during teacher shift change, at least once while I also still had an escaped kid under custody; going on wasp patrol after some kids and teachers got stung; pulling a non-functioning clock off the wall in one classroom, then carrying the damn thing around for TWO HOURS because I couldn’t stop long enough to get a new battery for it (I got asked six times; “where you going with that clock?” “apparently NOWHERE” I respond, rather testily).

And yet, at the end of the day, I can’t wait to get back here for another go at it.

Best job I’ve ever had.