Dad on Duty #91

So, as always, we got a LOT going on here today.  I’ve plucked a few highlights that I think are both a good glimpse into a day at school and also pretty darn amusing.

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Book fair.

I can hear you parents now….. you said “yay” in your most sarcastic voice.

But you gotta know; the kids love this event.  And Janae goes all out.  The decorations are amazing, and fun.  Our children are chomping at the bit to get in and buy stuff.  It is genuinely one of those things that energizes and lights up the entire school. And that matters.

As a parent, it is often a PITA.  I get that, believe me.  We have been dragged there after hours twice a year for 6 years now.  And we often come home with a “hang in there kitty” poster.  <sigh>.

But you oughta know how much it engages the kids, when you’re not there.  It draws them into the library, and into books.  And that’s a great thing.

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The Boss asks me to go see about either fixing or removing some furniture from one of our rooms.  This particular room is now used for kids that need 1-on-1 attention for behavioral issues.

There is literally one kid and a full-time teacher, by themselves, in this room.

Now, that’s a job I bet you don’t want.

But this teacher is in great spirits, and cheerful and chatty.  She interacts easily and effectively with the student.  She mentions she reads my stuff, and it seems to help her that somebody else “gets it”.

I’m glad for that.  I may be able to write about what I see, but I damn sure can’t do what she does…..everyday.

This one-on-one instruction may seem like a poor use of resources.  But in reality, it’s exactly what is needed.  Without this level of involvement, this kid will disrupt the learning of many other children, and fail to learn himself as well.  Instead, we are doing what is needed to get the learning done across the spectrum.

Which ultimately, is our responsibility.

Behavior is a mixture of choice, and brain wiring.  Within the confines of each kids’ brain, we must help them consistently make good choices.  But what is an achievable choice for one kid, is simply not for another.

You understand that, I hope?  This kid is not choosing to be unable to control himself.  It will take a lot of time and effort for us to help him get to the point where he can choose better behaviors.

But there is no shortcut.

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My kid is 5’ tall now, and about 100 lbs.  She is strong, fast and athletic.  With two or three exceptions (out of 50), she’s bigger than any of the 5th grade boys.

She loves that.

I’ve got to admit, it’s fun to watch.  She revels in being able to throw the ball as far as any of them, and to be able to easily knock the stuffing out of any boy that dares to try to run the football back her way.

I want her to enjoy it, while she can.  Soon enough, the inevitable will happen.  Genetics will turn the tide the other way.  Soon enough.

But for now, let her kick their asses.

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The A/P calls me on the radio.  I respond by telling her my location; at the intersection of 1st and 2nd grade halls.  She shouts “stay there!”  I now see her, running down the main hall at me, at full speed.  As she gets to me, she breathlessly instructs me “stay put, I’m sending a class to you.  Just hold them.”  Yes ma’am.

As she gets to the classroom in question, she instructs the teacher (a sub today….of course….all the bad stuff happens to subs….) to send her class to me and asks “where is he?”

The sub points to the door leading outside.  “He ran”.

Holy @#$%.

Now the full Calvary is in motion.  Here comes everyone, running down the hall and making the turn, skidding, out to the west field area.

I get the class to settle down and sit with me in the hallway.  The sub comes over, eyes rather wide.  After a few minutes, all seems good here.  “You OK?” I ask the sub.  Yeah, I’m fine, she replies.

I head outside to help.

The SWAT team (Boss, A/P and one of our new behavioral specialist teachers, Tom) has the kid more or less herded.  We’re pretty far away from the building, in the grass.

They are clearly getting it done, talking him down.  He’s engaging, but not quite ready to get captured.

A product of training, I do an overview threat assessment.  I think the biggest risk is that he will bolt *that way*, into an open area that leads away from the school and into which it will be extremely hard to pursue him.  It’s cactus, grass and rocks.

And….probably….snakes.

But it strikes me as the vulnerable flank.

So I hike out there and stand.  I want the kid to see me, clearly blocking his way.

The team keeps talking to the kid, and within about 10 minutes, they have him in hand.  All is good.

Now, I just gotta get out of here without getting stabbed by a cactus or bitten by a rattlesnake….

But, here’s the real point of the story:

This boy’s emotional meltdown isn’t even in the top five toughest things the team had today.  It’s actually pretty routine.

Think on that for a few minutes.  Please.

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One of the many cool things we do here is LEGO robotics labs.  They build robots out of LEGO’s, then program them to do certain maneuvers and commands with real code that the kids write.  Due to a grant, every 5th grader participates in this class now, as part of our overall STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) program.  It’s especially important that we get girls involved in this activity, since women are so under-represented in the STEM professions.

My daughter does it grudgingly.  It’s not her thing.  Her interests are an odd mix of art and sports.  Not sure what major that turns out to be.

But these girls are doing wonderfully, and truly enjoying it.

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A few days ago, I had been meeting with many of the senior leadership in the ISD, trying to develop some consensus on critical subjects.

The most prominent issue, certainly for me, is our response to behavioral and mental health issues in the schools.

As I talked with several district leaders, one theme came up over and over; the process at McCoy seems to be working.  We are sending them more and more challenged kids, and they are succeeding.  Maybe what they are doing is the answer?  Or at least part of it?

I left the last of those meetings and was headed back to my office, when I was struck by something; the folks at McCoy need to hear what I have been hearing this past week.

They need to know.

So I take a left, and drive to the school, calling the Boss on the way.  “Can y’all meet me in your office in 5 minutes?”.  Puzzled, and probably a little concerned, she agrees.

The Boss, the A/P and the counselor….the Team….are gathered in the Boss’ office awaiting me.  I close the door and tell them what I have been hearing, over and over, from some of the most important people in our community and in our District.

I know you’re getting your butts kicked (except I didn’t say “butts”).  I know.  And I’m sorry.  But you need to know this:

You are getting it done.  It is working.  You are the talk of the district, and all eyes are upon you right now.  And it’s not me…..it’s independent of me.  They are beginning to believe in you, and what you’re doing.

It is surprisingly emotional for me; I can’t even get through telling them about my conversations without choking up.  I realize that this issue is pressing upon me so very much.  It has built up; the sense of being overwhelmed and ineffective.  As I say the words to them, I realize I’m saying it to myself too.

Keep going.  Don’t give up.

They are also visibly shaken and struck.  “We all three went home crying yesterday, because we felt we failed, again and again.”

I think my words helped.  Their shoulders visibly lifted, their heads a little higher.

There is darkness many days.  Maybe most.  But look again with me, into the darkness.  There is a light.

And it is the light of the love you have for these children.

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One of the things that is most fun at school is just to walk down the hallways and see the cool stuff the classes have posted out in their hallways.

What do you think about bats?  I bet the bats appreciate that almost everyone likes them!

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The first/second grade water fountains quit working.  I turn in a work order, but it will be a few days.  I’ve been here enough to know exactly what’s wrong with them; the GFCI breaker inside the fountain has tripped.

Today is very warm, and the kids are coming in from outside activities just parched.

So I say to hell with it, I’m gonna fix it.  Totally illegal.

I pull the thing apart.  Lying on my back, kids are stepping over me the entire time to go to the bathroom and wash their hands.  “Is it fixed yet?” I get asked about 50 times.

Yep.  All good.  Get your drink.

And cancel the work order.

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We’ve started a new rewards program for the teachers at the school.  The winning team of teachers gets to leave early, and the admins take over their classes.  The winners get something nice, like a pedicure package.

Today, it’s the 5th grade team.  The admins head upstairs and relieve them.

The teachers can’t leave fast enough.  Out the door, off to pedicures.

See you suckers.