Dad on Duty #94

I worked at school two days this week.  Surprisingly, they let me back the next week.

Not sure that was the wisest move.

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As I’ve mentioned before, I try to spend most of the day in the main hallway, being visible and available.

This makes me a ready audience for a show I call “random stream of consciousness from kindergartners”.

As the kids walk by me, they often blurt out some amazing, random stuff.  I hope it’s because they feel safe and comfortable here at school, and around me.

Here’s a sample of today’s entries:

“I know why you’re here.  You’re here in case a bear comes.  They can swim you know”.   Absolutely.  If a bear swims over here to the school, I’m on it, I tell him.  He nods and smiles, confidently.

“I almost whistled!”   No way.  Show me.  (She did.  Pretty good.  Heck, I can’t even whistle).

“Can I tie somebody’s shoe?”  Um, sure.  Someone in particular, or just the next untied shoe that walks by?  “The next one, it doesn’t matter…”.  Go for it.

Carrying her “prop” for her class picture today.  A small plushie horse.  “This is my pony!  I also have a pink penguin!”.  Well, pink penguins are very rare you know.  “Yeah, I should have brought that one….”, now staring at her pony like it’s a skunk….

“Look how wiggly this tooth is!”, grasping the tooth with his fingers and rotating it nearly 270 degrees.  Yes, thank you for showing me that….Yum……

“These are not even my pants”.  Um, OK.  I’m not asking any more questions on that one.  Move along.

“My dog ate poop this morning!”  Yeah, they do that.  Just don’t mimic that behavior, OK?

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It’s spring Class Picture day.  We do our best to herd all the little sheep in the right order, without a traffic jam in the hallway.

It goes pretty well.

One class has a kid show up late, after their class picture is done.  The teacher asks if she can come back down and re-shoot the photo with the previously missing friend.

After quite a bit of negotiation, and logistical maneuvering, we get the photo people to agree to hang on for a few minutes.

The teacher rushes her class back in and starts lining them up, and then realizes….

Some other kid is now missing.

He went home early a few minutes ago.

They decide to re-shoot anyway, and so now for her class you have a choice; would you like the class pic that is missing John, or missing Frank?  I guess it depends on which kid you prefer…..

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As I walk the halls upstairs, a teacher motions to a kid who’s just kinda standing by the fish tank.  She whispers to me “is he supposed to be here?”.  I’ll find out.

I walk over and ask him where he’s supposed to be.  He says “in class”.  Well, then let’s go to class.  “No, I’m not going”.  Um….what?  Yeah, you are.  “Nope.  Recess was too short and I’m mad….I’m not going to class.”  Aha.  Emotional control issue.  Got it.

After trying a couple other times to get him to return to class, I call for the Boss to come chat with him.  She asks him to sit with her on the stairs.  But he keeps pacing, not picking a spot.  She finally tells him “dude, you gotta choose a seat.  Once I get down there on my butt, I’m not getting up again. It’s a one-time event.”  He thinks that’s funny, softens a bit, and sits down and talks.  After 10 minutes, he goes back to class.  And that is how you do that.

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Walking around helps.  It’s one of our go-to therapies, especially when I’m there.  If a kid is having trouble with behavioral or emotional control, send him on a walk around the building with me.  Moving makes it better, and the conversation becomes very natural and comfortable.  Plus, they are doing some good stuff; picking up trash, securing doors, returning lost jackets to other scholars.  It gives the kid a sense of purpose, and also a feeling of being special and getting to do stuff other kids don’t get to do.  I bet we employed walk therapy five times today.  It’s part of why I have 20,000 steps by 3 pm.

But while we’re trying to help these kids, we are also struggling with a difficult balance; these kids need empathy and some alternative approach to help with their behavior and emotional control.  But we also don’t want to reward a kid for being defiant or for acting out.

So we’re trying to recognize that these kids need something different in order to learn better behaviors, without accidentally rewarding bad behavior (“want to do something cool?  Just do something bad and you get special treatment”).

It is an extraordinarily difficult equation, and even among the staff there is often disagreement as to how to respond to the challenge.  But we can’t look away; it must be dealt with.  We simply need to do our best and be prepared to consider a different viewpoint and be willing to change when it seems indicated.

It devours an enormous amount of the staff’s time and emotional capital.

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We had some runners today.  Those make it extra fun.

One special education kid just decides to take off down the hallway toward the front doors.  I am in the front office, so can’t see her initially.  Her teacher, equipped with a radio, starts shouting at us “door!  Door!  Front door!”  We have no idea what she’s talking about, but we look up just in time to see the student approaching the front door fast.  Both Deb and I leap, just about over, the front desk and sprint toward the doors.  I go outside as the stopgap, while Deb actually intercepts the student inside.  The scholar stops herself…..she had no intention of going outside apparently….and laughs and laughs.  Wheee!  That was fun! Is basically her reaction.  Yeah, super fun.  Thanks.

While still trying to get our heart rates down from that incident, we get called to help a teacher with a behavioral kid who is getting very upset.  The AP goes to help in the room and I set up in the center of the hallway to be ready to manage traffic around the issue if needed.

Suddenly the student bursts from the room, at full speed.  He turns toward me, sees that his path is blocked, and instead sprints down a hallway that leads outside.  The AP and his teacher are right behind him, but he’s quick.  Literally as fast as I can run, I sprint down a parallel hall to block his exit out of the building, actually jumping over the fence on my way.  The teachers catch up to him before he makes it there, and get him under control.

Within an hour, the kid is laughing and chatting with his teacher and the AP, doing coursework.  He’s fine.  The staff here know what to do, and handle it masterfully.  He is actually really sweet and smart, a good boy, but like so many, he has trouble controlling his emotions.

We are doing our best to help him learn that, along with math and social studies…..

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Perhaps more than any other example, this experience might describe modern school best.  A constant struggle to balance scholastic progress alongside what seems to be a worsening behavioral and mental health environment.

With limited resources and constant pressure from all sides.

And yet, if you come here and watch, you will see amazing things.  Children learning, both didactically and emotionally.  Kids being kids, and having fun.  People caring for each other, including scholars caring for and about other scholars, constantly, in ways that will touch your heart like nothing else.

This.  Is.  School.  Life.