Dad on Duty #112

So today is Valentine’s party day here at school (and actual Valentine’s Day!).  While I realize this is a totally fabricated holiday, I think it has some real value; making us stop and focus on, and talk about, love, for a day.

I got to deliver lots of fun stuff today.  I was like Cupid, but with a radio, a uniform shirt and a cart full of goodies instead of a diaper and a quiver (everyone let out a collective sigh of relief for that….)

On our way to school this morning, I did have a moment of middle-school-reality-check.  I asked Tori if they had parties today at middle school (thinking….it would be fun to sneak over there and see her for a few minutes).  My question was followed immediately by scoffing, snorting and eye-rolling; “no Dad….we don’t do parties…..”.  Well, there you have it.

In addition to candy, I had the pleasure of delivering quite a few flower arrangements to teachers today.  They are proudly displayed on the teachers’ desks in the classrooms during the school day.

I am struck with two thoughts about the grown up Valentine’s on display at school:

1. Good job hubbies.  Flowers matter.  Even my wife said “don’t bother with flowers this year, really.  I’d rather we spend that money on something that we can all enjoy”.  But I did it anyway, and got her a nice bouquet.  I think it really brightened her day.  That simple, stupid-seeming gesture….matters. It’s part of the glue that helps hold our crazy, challenging relationships together. 
2. I think it’s healthy and helpful for the kids to see these gestures, these visual messages of affection.  So many of our kids are from places where affection and love are hard to come by.  And so many have no model of loving relationships and behaviors in their lives.  That may be hard to fathom, but it is a fundamental ingredient in the soup that is public school.  So given that reality, I ask you to think about the impact this visual could have; just seeing that your teacher’s husband sent her a beautiful bouquet to school for Valentine’s.  And watching her emotional and genuine response.  For some of our kids, that may have been the most important thing they learned all day today.  Seeing love, experiencing love, here in this place, matters.  Profoundly.  And I bet, just maybe, you never thought about that.

*****

Oh my lord, there was so much crying today.  I am pretty sure this was the most time I have spent on the floor of this building, trying to console or talk down a kid. And now that I’m old and decrepit, that is really hard.  Well, not so much the act of getting down there on the floor to talk to the kid…gravity does most of the work for that part.  It’s the getting back up part that’s darn near impossible. 

At one point, the office was completely full of kids having some sort of emotional or behavioral issue.  Every kid desk in the office area and open space, including the counselor’s office, was full.  Of sad, mad or upset children.

There is no scientific evidence that eating sugar affects a child’s behavior or affect.  Really.  None.

But if you tell that to any parent, or anyone that works at a school, they would emphatically declare “B*&% S$#T”. 

It wasn’t just sugar, to be sure.  Just as important, or maybe even more so, is the change in routine.  Layered on that is the presence….or, worse yet, absence…..of parents or other loved ones.  My mom showed up, and now is leaving, so I’m going to melt down.  Or my mom didn’t show up, but lots of other moms did…..so I’m really mad. 

It makes for an incredibly challenging day for everyone.

And here I am, yet again, sprawled on the floor of a classroom, trying to console a sobbing child.

*****

Every day I am here, I am amazed by the PE coaches.  Today, they created an obstacle course based on the cardiovascular system.

What….?

This is without a doubt the best way I’ve ever seen to teach biology.  And I taught cardiovascular A&P extensively.  I would have never thought of this.

They have labeled the components of the obstacle course as….in, by the way, the correct order….the parts of the heart-lung structure. 

As you run through the course, you mimic the blood cells as they pass through the system.  It is beautifully done, and pretty darn fun. 

*****

At one point, I make a delivery to a second grade classroom. 

Lots of the kids know my name now, thanks to the “parade” they did a few weeks ago in my honor.

So as I enter the room, many scholars call out my name.  And a handful run up and hug me.  Always the best part of the day.

One of the kids who comes up to hug me, I don’t recognize.  He tells me, spontaneously, that he is new here.  “I’m new!  This is my first week at this school!”.  And yet he ran up to hug me, like he’d known me for a year. 

I ask him how he likes it here.  He says, beaming, “I love it here!”

Me too, my friend.  Me. Too.