Dad on Duty Blog #124 – No More Hineys in the Hallway

I walk into a classroom, and this is staring back at me.

It’s on the new, very large, classroom display, so this squirrel is about 4 feet tall.

He’s a bit disturbing.

And he does not appear to be directly related to the ongoing work in the classroom.

I ask the teacher:  “What.  Is.  This?”

She replies without hesitation: “that’s me today.  That’s how I feel”

Ok.  Glad we can communicate our feelings…..

*****

I have decided to implement a new, but I think critical, policy. 

Boys, you need to pull your pants up before exiting the bathroom.

See, Pre-K and KG boys sometimes struggle with operating their pants.  It’s really not their fault; for some reason, we occasionally choose to send them to school with button trousers and even belts.

To be honest, 40 year old men can barely operate those.

To add to the complexity, we apply pressure to the kids to get out of the bathroom quickly.

So, in desperation to meet that expectation, the little boys often exit the bathroom with their pants-pulling-up operation still in progress. 

I have become the no-hinies-in-the-hallway police.

I’m going to make simple, graphical signs for placement at the exit from the boys bathrooms, showing a little boy hiney with a circle and slash.  I will add a bright orange tape line on the floor at the threshold of the bathroom.  “Pants must be up to go past this line”, the sign will say. 

Note that this is NOT an issue next door, at the girls’ bathroom.

******

A young lady comes in to the office, looking for the counselor.  “She’s helping in a classroom right now, sweetie”, I tell her.  “How about the A/P?”, she asks.  “No, she’s also busy”, I explain. 

“Well…..can I talk to you?” she asks me. 

The easy thing to do would be to say, no….let’s wait until the counselor comes back.  Or somebody….anybody….that knows what the hell they’re doing.

The easy thing.   And the wrong thing. 

To make yourself available to these kids is also to make yourself vulnerable.  It’s scary.  What if I don’t know what to say?  What if the kid tells me something awful?  What if I mishandle it?

It’s really a lot like my old job, I’m realizing.  I’m not really fully prepared for this.  And if I’m wrong, it could be very bad.  But to do nothing…..is even worse. 

So I sit down, and listen.  And it was hard.  And I didn’t really know what to say.

But I did my best.

And three hours later, at dismissal, she hugged me on her way out.

********

A young man who requires significant behavioral help is walking down the hallway as I merge into traffic, heading to help with recess. 

He is accompanied, as always, by a behavioral aid.

This scholar has serious difficulties controlling his impulses and can get physical. 

The natural thing to do is to be a little afraid of him, and avoid him.

Instead, I make myself (despite my honest anxiety) say “Hi!” and smile at him as we approach each other in the hallway traffic. 

He reaches out…..and grabs my hand.  And smiles back at me. 

We walk together like that until we need to part to go our different directions.

Then he, too, gives me a hug.  The aid comments “wow….he doesn’t just give those out….”

And it felt pretty good.

********

Pre-K has come in from outside time and is taking a bathroom break.

As I’m trying to shuttle kids in and out of the bathrooms and play referee at the water fountains, one little girl, absolutely tiny and quite beautiful, approaches me and asks “can you hold my flowers?”

I don’t understand at first.

“Hold what?” I ask while holding my hand out toward her (possibly dangerous, I realize a second later….)

She puts these in my hand

“My flowers” she says.  <Blink blink>

Even the teacher kinda coughed then.  “Can’t say no to that….” she says. 

“Sure” is my reply, a little stunned. 

I was fully prepared to protect those flowers with my life.  Had someone attempted to harm those flowers, I would have ripped the paper towel dispenser off the wall and hit them with it.

I would have carried those flowers to the end of the Earth if she asked me to.

********

Dismissal is done, it’s been a full and intense day at Cooper.  I walk across the street to wait for my actual, biological child to get out of middle school. 

As I walk up to the front door, I see this on the sidewalk

My kid.

Oh yeah. 

I look at it a long while.  My kid.  Here at this school. 

Now it’s time to pay attention to her.